Vive La Difference

Or what I think the difference is between an Adult (or pretend adult) and a Child that has ADHD

So…as I said before. For me, this shit works. Adderall XR 30mg. How do I know it works? Unlike some people, I didn’t feel a kick, I didn’t feel a surge of energy. But here is what I do know.

  1. When I look at a pile of dishes or papers and I’m on Adderall, I’m no longer overwhelmed.
  2. I don’t wonder where my keys, wallet, phone, etc. are every other moment.

These may seem like small things, but I assure you they are not. When I am 45 minutes late because I can’t find my keys (under my laundry I moved to find my phone), it’s not small.  When, after metro-ing to a conference, realizing I forgot my ID and having to take a $80 cab ride to get back in time, it’s not small.

But here is the hard part. Learned Habits. Learned Behaviors. Even on the medicine, I have 48 years of learned habits (mostly bad) built to be able to cope with this co-habitator in my head.

10/12/2015 I’m up to Adderall 60mg XR. Sometimes feel this is a losing battle.

So when parents say meds have helped their kids immeasurably, it’s because parents, teachers, doctors, etc. are there to stop bad habits and reinforce good ones. As an adult, there is much less of that.

  • Employers do not advocate for this. Your bad habits cause performance issues, you’re gone.
  • Your parents are likely done with any of your learned behaviors, and would you even listen to them?
  • Doctors, Organizers, Life Coaches – where do I begin. To put it simply, Time and Money. As an adult, ADHD has definitely hurt my finances. So you spend more money that you shouldn’t to fix something you wish you could fix on your own. It’s almost counter-intuitive. And the more ADHD has affected your life, the more of this you need and the more stress it puts on your time and money. But to do nothing…doesn’t make it better. In this parlance, I feel a lose-lose.
  • Finding priorities. I still focus on the issue of the day, to the detriment of others. This is good and bad. I want to organize paperwork, I spend all day doing it. All week doing it. Up until 3 am doing it. But the balance isn’t there.

I don’t have the answers for this, other than to keep trying. The meds help. A lot. There’s just so much else. More on Habits (Good and Bad) later.





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