An Ode to My Favorite Font

AKA: A short trip into my brain.

Lucinda
Sans
Typewriter

It’s a font I like.
In Fact
It’s Pretty Much My Favorite Font,
Much Like A LIGER
Is Pretty Much Napoleon Dynamite’s Favorite Animal,
Bred, Rumour Has It,
For its Skillz in Magic.
The Liger, not
Lucinda Sans Serif.

I like the word Skillz.
Even though it gets underlined in RED
Every time I type it like that.
Damn Spellcheck.

I Wikipedia,
A lot.
I read
What Interests me,
And it’s a hell of a rabbit hole for me
Because I can spend the whole day there.

Lucinda reminds me of a girl.
Maybe
Lucinda of the Williams variety.
The Name Rings a Bell,
So guess what I do?

Wikipedia Lucinda Williams

Ew.
Country.
I don’t like Country,
Much.
One Strike.

I was hoping
She was a hell raiser at least.
She’s not.
Two Strikes.

She wrote
“Passionate Kisses”
Which as far as country goes,
Isn’t a shit sandwich.
But the song stuck in my head
Instead
Is “Lucille” by Kenny Rogers.
Which is worse.
Sadly Lucille
Is close to Lucinda
And my head has chosen this form of
Not-So-Exquisite
Torture.
I’m taking a fine time to leave Lucille
Strike Three.

On to Sans.
Without.
I like using Sans instead of Without
It’s Continental.
Continental as in Franch.
(say Franch with a clenched jaw and you will get it right)
“Franch”
And sophisticated.
Try Saying this when you want a
Burger without Fries.
“Burger Sans Fries.”
See?
Sophisticated
-er.
I would hate to be without Sans.
I would then be
Sans Sans.
Uninvited, a picture of Horatio pops in my head.
Sanz that is.
The comic I don’t think is comic.
And I don’t like his
Jowls.
But I like the word Jowls.

But Sans with Respect
To Fonts is really
Sans-Serif
Serif, not Sharif,
Of the Omar variety.
Although now that he is dead
We are
Sans Sharif.
Too Soon?

Serif is the little tails
That make fonts look fancy
But less Clear.
So getting rid of those
Make your font Sans-Serif
Or Sans for Short.
At least according to
Wikipedia

Typewriter.
I like the irony of using a
Font for a computer
Called Typewriter.
That’s it for this one.
Don’t need to Wiki
Typewriter

Lucinda Sans Typewriter.

The one thing I never looked up
On Wikipedia
Is
The whole Freaking Font name.

Turns out,
I was wrong.
It’s not Lucinda
It’s Lucida

All these years.
Wasted time.
Calling the Font by the wrong name.
Fuck.
Next time I’ll just call the font
“Baby” or “Sweetie”
Then I won’t get the name wrong.

But Jilted by Lucinda (or whatever her name is), I’ve moved on
Just for the Principle of it.
Well Hellllooooo Tempus Sans ITC.